hotel room ftw
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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