I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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