so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
