my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
