Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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