I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
