So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
