i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
