hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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