Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
