last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
as a side note pls kill me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
