It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
