You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
