Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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