I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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