So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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