I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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