Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

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(604): View more from British Columbia

This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.

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(813): View more from Florida

His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal

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