party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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