he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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