I just saw a hot homeless man
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
what day is it and did you see me today?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
