Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize