But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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