come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
