Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
