You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
