I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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