i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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