He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
