Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
