I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
