Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
