my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
