Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
