hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
