Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
