That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
