When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's like heaven, but drunker
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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