I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
