She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize