First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
