I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
