i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize