Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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