Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
