Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
