Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
People in love make me want to vomit
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
