Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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