i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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