We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
