i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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