how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize