apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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