I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
