It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
