she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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