Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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